Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
