You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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