How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
