my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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