I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
