bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
