Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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