dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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