ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
