Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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