I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
