We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
