It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
