So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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