so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
