If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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