he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
