I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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