he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I currently don't understand fingers.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
