once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
well you can't waste a boner
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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