? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
