Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize