we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
