so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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