I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
