She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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