ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
