I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
3pm strippers are depressing
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
