i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he puts the penis in happiness.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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