i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
