Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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