she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize