Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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