my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
