This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
