He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
