If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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