He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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