If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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