she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
