I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
