Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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