Please, let me fuck your mom
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
