hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i will never coherently bang her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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