Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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