she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
