But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
