The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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