What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
