Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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