we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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