Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
