WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
