the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize