sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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