Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
