Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
