Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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