Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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