So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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