sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
