When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
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I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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