I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
