So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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