I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
